A past boyfriend told me he was afraid of me. Take it as a compliment, but don’t you know, that relationship ended with him heading for the hills….of being unattached. He was scared of our relationship. Not saying he didn’t care for it, he just cared more about being single. Then, not even two months after we broke up? He was ready to talk again. He was afraid I was talking to other guys. At first, I thought it meant that he cared about me. Nope. That means he’s only cares about me….because he thought someone else did. 

That’s when I realized. I don’t want to be with someone that only wants me so no one else could have me. I want to be with someone because they want me, more than anyone else. So what am I afraid of? I’m afraid that I won’t know it when I see it. I’m afraid that a good guy will come out of nowhere, and be gone before I realize that he’s ever even there. I’m afraid that one day, I will always want to be alone. That out of loss of hope, pessimism or maybe just pure exhaustion, I’ll give up, and give in. Don’t let me fool you. Every girl wants to fall in love, and is afraid she won’t. Anyone who tells you otherwise has never found something to be afraid of.

I was stuck at a play in Center City, (I HAD TO GO FOR A CLASS)….and I had my good friend texting me updates. She told me about Burrell’s double and I just knew TONIGHT was the NIGHT. It ended and I hurried out, caught the subway. On the way home, I heard someone scream and I almost started crying. I jumped on my friend Sarah, called my buddy Jeff. “Where are you?!” I screamed.

“My apartment!!!” 

And I was OFF. 

“Missy, be careful!” Was the last I heard from Sarah, who was heading indoors, anticipating a riot. 

I bolted down Montgomery to Broad, and saw one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. Hundreds of students, ALL PHILLIES PHANS, parading down the street. I caught up to my friend and we just looked at each other and said, “let’s do it.”

Along with Jeff, we walked down to City Hall amongst a sea of phans. Screaming Philadelphians pounded on buses, ran out in the middle of the road, toasted each other, and climbed on top of cars. City Hall was mobbed. People set off fireworks in the street. Drivers hung out of their vehicles to give pedestrians high fives. My mom called me repeatidly, screaming and cursing and crying, and screaming. My only regret was that she wasn’t here to share this with me, but I know my family was at home celebrating. My mother told me that my family watched in our living room, my sister and brother sitting on her lap. No one was allowed to switch positions. They just watched in awe. 

Jeff stole a cone of the street and paraded around, while screaming into it. I climbed a fence to take pictures of the insane phans. 

“I’m gonna marry Pat Burrell!!! And Shane Victorino!!” I screamed.

“WE’RE MORMONS!” My other Sarah friend agreed. 

Beer fell from the sky like rain. People sat atop the LOVE statue chanting for the Phillies. Philly Phans flooded the streets, hugging and crying. I’ve never seen the city more unified, and I’ve never high-fived so many homeless people. 

It was incredible. 

all time top 20 mantras: what oprah knows best. 

(i bolded my favs.)

1.

what you put out comes back all the time, no matter what.

2.

you define your own life. don’t let other people write your script.

3.

whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present. only you give it power.

4.

when people show you who they are, believe them the first time.

5.

worrying is wasted time. use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.

6.

what you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for. you become what you believe.

7.

if the only prayer you ever say is thank you, that will be enough. 

8.

the happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.

9.

failure is the signpost to turn you in another direction.

10.

if you make a choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world will not fall apart.

11.

trust your instincts. intuition doesn’t lie. 

12.

love yourself and then learn to extend that love to others in every encounter.

13.

let passion drive your profession.

14.

find a way to get paid for doing what you love. then every paycheck will be a bonus.

15.

love doesn’t hurt. it feels really good.

16.

everyday brings a chance to start over.

17.

being a mother is the hardest job on earth. women everywhere must declare it so.

18.

doubt means don’t. don’t move. don’t answer. don’t rush forward.

19.

when you don’t know what to do, get still. the answer will come.

20.

“trouble don’t last always.” 

(still love you pat)

“Lay off, Navarro, I’m trying to win America some free tacos!”

be sure to check out victorino’s postseason blog. 

go phillies